Why You’ll Never Find Balance–And That’s a Good Thing

Feel like you're always chasing balance but never quite catching it? Here’s the truth: balance isn’t some perfect, static state—it’s a messy, ever-changing process, and anyone telling you otherwise is selling a pipe dream.

In this episode, we’re blowing up the myth of “having it all together” and diving into why balance isn’t a destination but a moving target that shifts with your priorities, energy, and seasons of life.

We’ll explore:

• Why imbalance isn’t a problem but a sign you’re growing.
• The science of neuroplasticity and how your brain adapts to challenges.
• How stress (when managed right) can actually fuel your growth.
• Practical strategies for setting boundaries, managing your energy, and building a sustainable system for balance.

Whether you’re leading a team, juggling all the things, or just trying to survive the day, this episode gives you a fresh, snarky perspective on redefining balance and making it work for real life.

Get ready to stop chasing balance and start creating it.

00:00 Introduction: The Myth of Balance
01:13 Understanding Balance as a Process
02:03 The Science Behind Imbalance
03:30 Managing Stress and Recovery
04:19 Balance in Leadership
07:27 Practical Tips for Daily Balance
14:42 Mindset Shifts for Long-Term Balance
18:38 Conclusion: Your Mission for Balance

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction: The Myth of Balance
• 1:59 Understanding Balance as a Process
• 2:49 The Science Behind Imbalance
• 4:16 Managing Stress and Recovery
• 5:05 Balance in Leadership
• 8:13 Practical Tips for Daily Balance
• 15:28 Mindset Shifts for Long-Term Balance
• 19:24 Conclusion: Your Mission for Balance

Transcript

[00:00:00] How many times have you said, I just need to find balance, like it's a missing sock you can pull out of the dryer? And how many times has that actually worked? If I had to guess, I'd say that your answer is probably closer to never than it is to all the time, right? We're told that balance is this magical place where your work, your relationships, and your personal goals all line up perfectly all the time.

Like if you just work hard enough, you'll unlock the secret formula to living a stress free, happy life. But I'm sure you can guess it. That's not how life works. Now I'm not here to guilt you for wanting balance. I get it. You're tired. You're stretched too thin. And you're probably wondering how much longer you can keep going like this.

And as your friend, I'm here to tell you that the problem isn't you. The problem is the way that we've been trained to think about balance. You see, balance isn't something that you can find. It's not a destination or [00:01:00] some box that you can check off. Balance is a moving target. It's messy. It changes depending on your priorities, your season of life, and sometimes just how much coffee you've had that day.

So today we're going to stop chasing balance like it's a prize and start looking at it for what it is. A process. An ongoing, ever changing process. And here's the best part. When you start seeing balance this way, it actually becomes doable. So here's what we've got lined up for today. We're going to talk about why chasing balance keeps you stuck in a cycle of guilt and frustration.

What science says about imbalance and why it's actually normal and necessary. And how to stop thinking about balance as an outcome and start treating it as a system that adapts with you. My hope is that by the end of this episode, you'll have a whole new perspective on balance and maybe even a little permission to let go of some of that perfectionism you've been hanging on to.

Yes, [00:02:00] friend. I see you over there. All right, let's get into it. Your body isn't designed to stay in balance all the time. Like literally it's impossible. Think about it. You breathe in and then you breathe out your heart beats faster when you exercise and slows down. When you rest your energy, your focus, even your emotions, they all work in cycles, not straight lines.

Balance as a constant state just doesn't exist in the real world. And you know what? That's probably a good thing. I mean, imagine if everything in your life was perfectly balanced all the time. Same routine, same energy, same everything. To me, that sounds pretty boring, right?

That's because imbalance is what creates growth. It's the push and pull that keeps life interesting and keeps you evolving. And here's where the science gets really cool. Yeah, I'm about to nerd out a little bit here. Your brain is wired to handle small disruptions and it actually [00:03:00] loves them. There's something called neuroplasticity, which is just a fancy way of saying that your brain grows and adapts when it's challenged.

When you're thrown off balance, like tackling a new project or dealing with a curve ball in life, your brain lights up. It actually gets excited about taking on something new. But the catch is that your brain can only handle so much before it flips into survival mode. That's when imbalance starts to feel overwhelming and you probably end up hitting burnout.

The trick isn't avoiding imbalance altogether, it's actually learning how to create space for recovery so that you can bounce back stronger. And not all stress is bad.

There's a type of stress called eustress, and it's the kind of stress that challenges you without breaking you. It's what makes you step up in a big presentation, learn a new skill, or solve a tough problem. problem. Eustress is essentially like weightlifting for your brain. A little tension, a little discomfort, but it [00:04:00] helps you grow.

But if you don't balance it with recovery, that's when you move into distress, the kind that leaves you drained and snapping at people over things like missing pens. The goal isn't to eliminate stress or imbalance, it's to manage it in a way that keeps you growing without tipping into burnout.

Now let's talk about how this shows up if you're leading a team or even just managing your own work. The best leaders aren't the ones who look like they have their shit all together all the time. They're the ones who can navigate imbalance with flexibility and with calm. When something goes off the rails at work, and it will, it's not about keeping everything perfectly balanced.

It's about knowing when to lean in, when to step back, and how to adjust without completely losing your mind. And just know that your team and colleagues are watching. If you treat imbalance like a failure or something to fear, they'll pick up on that. But if you show them that it's just part of the process and that it's okay [00:05:00] to recalibrate, they'll follow your lead.

You're essentially giving them permission to breathe. Okay, so let's pause here for a second. I want you to think about this. What's one area of your life where you're feeling out of balance right now? Is it work? Family? Taking care of yourself? And could that imbalance be a sign that you're growing, adapting, or stepping into something new?

Sometimes imbalance isn't a problem. It's feedback. The question isn't how to fix it necessarily, it's more about what the imbalance is trying to teach you. All right, that's the science y part done for today.

Now I want to get to the part that might make you wonder, why didn't anyone tell you this before? Balance isn't something you achieve. It's something you manage. And the best way to manage balance is to stop treating it like a checklist or a goal and to start treating it like a system. So your life isn't a bunch of disconnected parts.

It's a system [00:06:00] of moving pieces. You've got work, family, health, relationships, personal growth. They're all gears in this machine. When one gear starts spinning too fast, it puts pressure on the other gears. Like when work demands take over, maybe your health takes a hit, or you feel distant in your relationships.

Now the mistake most people make here is trying to spin all the gears equally fast. But that's not how systems work. A healthy system isn't about equal speed, it's about flow. It's about noticing when one area needs to slow down so the others don't break. And here's where it gets really interesting. Your body and mind are already giving you constant feedback about your system.

You just might not be listening. Procrastination? That's feedback. It's your brain telling you it's overwhelmed and needs clarity before it can move forward. Fatigue? Also [00:07:00] feedback. Your body's telling you, hey, this isn't sustainable. Snapping at your partner because they asked you what's for dinner? Yep, feedback again. It's a signal that something in your system is out of sync.

Most of us ignore these signals. Thanks. We push through, slap on a band aid, and hope the problem will just go away. But ignoring feedback doesn't fix the system. It just makes the breakdown worse. Now let's flip how you think about balance. Instead of aiming for some mythical state where everything feels perfect, think about balance as a system that you can adjust.

Let me give you an example. Imagine you're juggling a big work project. You know it's going to throw your system out of whack for a bit. Imagine Maybe you'll have to put less energy into personal time or skip a workout or two. But the key is that you don't try to maintain everything. Instead, you temporarily shift your system to handle the priority while planning for a recovery later.[00:08:00] 

It's about being intentional with your energy, not rigid with your routines. Let's get into this even further. Balance essentially happens on two levels. Micro and macro. Microbalance is your day to day adjustments. It's the five minute breaks between meetings, choosing to log off at a reasonable time, or saying no to something that doesn't fit your capacity today.

Macrobalance is about seasons. It's understanding that balance isn't something you measure by the day, it's something you measure over weeks, months, or even years. Some seasons are for hustling, others are for resting. Both are equally as necessary. The deal is you can't do it all at once and you shouldn't really try.

The real magic is in knowing which gear needs the most attention right now and which ones can afford to slow down for a while. So take five minutes to audit your system and ask yourself these three questions. Which area of my [00:09:00] life feels like it's spinning too fast? Which area is being neglected? And what's one small adjustment I can make to bring things back into flow?

You'll also want to plan for recovery. If you know one part of your life is going to demand more from you, make a plan for how you'll recover afterward. Schedule a day off, plan a quiet evening, or make space for something that recharges you. And start paying attention to the signals your system is sending you.

If you're procrastinating, ask what feels unclear or overwhelming. If you're exhausted, ask what needs to slow down so you can recharge. Don't judge the feedback, just use it as data to adjust. Balance isn't one size fits all, and it's not fixed. Treat your system like an experiment. Try something new. Maybe a boundary, a shorter workday, or a weekend off, and see how it feels.

Adjust as [00:10:00] needed from there. Okay, now let's shift gears and talk about balance in leadership. Whether you're leading a team, your family, or just yourself, your approach to balance doesn't just affect you. It ripples out into everything and everyone around you. The thing is, if you're running on empty, your leadership is too.

When you're a leader, your actions set the tone for everyone around you. If you're constantly working late, saying yes to everything, and glorifying overwork, guess what? Your team, your family, or your peers will think that that's the standard they have to meet too. And let me be clear here.

This is not about blaming you. It's about awareness. Leaders, especially high achieving ones, often feel like they need to carry the weight of the world to prove that they're competent or successful. But here's what's wild. When you model balance, you don't lose respect. You actually gain it. Would you rather follow [00:11:00] someone who burns themselves out or someone who knows how to protect their energy and prioritize what matters? Your team doesn't need a hero. They need a human. The paradox I see all the time with leaders is that you want to show up for your team, your family, or your clients, but you end up sacrificing yourself in the process.

And then you hit burnout and guess what happens? You're not showing up for anyone, not your team, not your family, not even yourself. The truth is balance is non negotiable for leadership. Because if you're burned out, you can't make good decisions. You can't inspire your team, and you definitely can't sustain the pace that you've been running at.

Now let's take this one step further. Balance isn't just about protecting your own well being, it's also about creating psychological safety for the people that you lead. Here's what I mean by that. When you model balance, you're giving permission for others to do the same. You're showing them that it's [00:12:00] okay to set boundaries, to take breaks, to say no when they're overwhelmed.

That creates a culture of trust and safety where people can thrive instead of just surviving. I Have you ever worked somewhere where the unspoken rule was that you're only valuable if you're always busy? How did that make you feel? If I had to guess, probably not too great. As a leader, you have the power to flip that script.

You can set the tone by showing your team that balance isn't a weakness, it's a strength. So let's talk about some ways that you can actually model balance without feeling like you're abandoning your responsibilities. First, set boundaries publicly. If you're logging off at 5pm, say it. Say something like, I'm heading out now to recharge.

I'll respond to anything urgent tomorrow morning. When you normalize boundaries, you create a ripple effect. And if someone on your team sends an email late at night, respond during work hours, [00:13:00] instead of immediately, it shows them that you respect boundaries, even when they forget to set them. Second, talk about rest like it's normal. Instead of glorifying busyness, celebrate recovery. For example, tell your team that you're taking the afternoon to unplug so you can come back with a clear head.

It's a simple shift, but it reframes rest as part of success, not the opposite of it. Third, prioritize with your team. When your team is overwhelmed, don't just say get it all done. Help them prioritize. Ask them what's most important this week, what they can let go of for now, and how that you can support them.

Leadership is about helping others manage their systems too. And lastly, celebrate small wins. When someone on your team sets a boundary or takes a step toward balance, acknowledge it. Tell them that you noticed that they said no to that extra project to focus on their priorities and [00:14:00] remind them that that's exactly the kind of leadership you need more of.

Let's take a beat here and think about how your approach to balance might be impacting the people you lead, whether that's your team, your family, or even just yourself. Are you modeling behaviors you'd want them to copy? Are you creating space for them to protect their energy and set boundaries? And most importantly, how would your leadership shift if you treated balance as a strength instead of a nice to have?

Just take a moment to reflect. You don't have to get this perfect. Leadership is messy and balance is ongoing. But even one small change can ripple out in ways that you can't even imagine. All right, so knowing balance is a moving target is great and all, but how do you actually live that out? Don't worry, friend, I've got you covered.

First, let's talk about mindset. Before you can embrace balance as a process, you've got to let go of some old ways of thinking. [00:15:00] Most of us treat balance like something we can control. We make the perfect plan, the perfect schedule, and then life blows up and we're back to feeling like failures. Or is that just me?

I hope it's not just me. Instead, think of balance as an experiment. Ask yourself what's working right now and what's not. And what small shift can you try next? Like let's say your mornings are a shitstorm of chaos. Instead of beating yourself up, get curious and think about what's one thing you could tweak tomorrow to feel less rushed.

Maybe that means getting up 15 minutes earlier. Or maybe you're going to set out your clothes the night before. I also want to ask you, how often do you feel guilty for not being balanced? For working late, for skipping a workout, for saying no to a social event. Friend, that guilt doesn't help you find balance, it just keeps you stuck.

Shift to grace by reminding yourself [00:16:00] that you're doing the best you can with what you have today. And that's enough. Now let's zoom out and talk about macro balance. Remember, that's the stuff that helps you manage balance over the long haul, not just the next few hours. Now everyone talks about to do lists, but what if we flipped the script on that? What's on your stop doing list? What habits, commitments, or tasks are draining your energy without adding value? Maybe you want to stop saying yes to every meeting invite. Or volunteering for things out of obligation instead of alignment.

Just write down one thing that you'll stop doing this week and commit to it as another experiment. Balance isn't just about time either. It's about energy. So start tracking your energy levels throughout the day. When do you feel most focused? When do you hit a slump? If your energy peaks in the morning, schedule your most important work then.

Use your low energy times for tasks that don't require as much brain [00:17:00] power like emails or admin work. Another thing about balance is that it isn't static. It shifts with the seasons of your life. Ask yourself, am I in a season of growth, rest, or transition? Your priorities and energy should reflect that.

Now let's zoom in a bit. Microbalance is all about those small daily adjustments that keep you grounded in the moment. Consider starting your day by asking three simple questions. What's one thing that needs my focus today? What can wait? What do I need for myself to feel grounded today? This quick check in sets the tone for an intentional day, not one where you're just reacting to whatever comes at you.

And if you've been around for any amount of time or follow me on social media, you've likely heard me say that breaks aren't wasted time, they're energy resets. Consider using a timer or an app like the Pomodoro technique where you work for 25 [00:18:00] minutes and then take a five minute break. Stretch, walk, breathe, whatever helps you recharge.

Then before you wrap up your day, ask yourself three more questions. What went well today? Where did I feel balanced? What small tweak could I make tomorrow? This simple practice helps you course correct without judgment. Here's what I want you to remember. Balance isn't about perfection. It's about progress.

It's about tuning in, making small adjustments and showing up with intention, not just for the people around you, but for yourself. Now, before we wrap this up, here's your mission. Should you choose to accept it? Pick one strategy from today and commit to trying it this week. I want you to experiment and see what shifts for you.

And then let me know how it goes. DM me, email me, whatever works for you. I'd love to hear what clicked for you and [00:19:00] what didn't. Alright friend, that's it for today. As always, thank you so much for hanging out with me. Now go create some balance your way. I'll catch you next time.