The Dark Side of Company Culture: What "Always-On" Really Costs You

In this episode, Tara discusses the toxic "always on" culture requiring constant availability, which impacts mental and physical health. She examines its origins, driven by technology, hustle culture, the pandemic, and capitalism, and provides practical steps for setting boundaries and challenging urgency without guilt. 

Tara also addresses the exaggerated narratives about success and the importance of reclaiming personal time. She encourages listeners to remember their "why" and visualize a balanced life, emphasizing that stepping back can lead to both personal and professional fulfillment.

00:00 The Pressure to Be Always Available
00:40 Understanding "Always On" Culture
01:35 The Mental and Physical Toll
03:04 The Sneaky Traps of Overwork
04:33 The Role of Technology
06:07 Hustle Culture and Its Impact
06:52 The Pandemic's Influence
08:02 Capitalism and Constant Availability
09:22 Strategies to Push Back
13:17 Envisioning a Balanced Life

Chapters

• 0:00 The Pressure to Be Always Available
• 1:26 Understanding "Always On" Culture
• 2:21 The Mental and Physical Toll
• 3:50 The Sneaky Traps of Overwork
• 5:19 The Role of Technology
• 6:53 Hustle Culture and Its Impact
• 7:38 The Pandemic's Influence
• 8:48 Capitalism and Constant Availability
• 10:08 Strategies to Push Back
• 14:03 Envisioning a Balanced Life

Transcript

[00:00:00] You've felt it, I know that you have, that subtle, or not so subtle, pressure to be available all the time. To respond immediately, to stay late, to work weekends, basically to prove over and over again that you're a team player because apparently putting your needs last is what makes you valuable. But this kind of culture doesn't just mess with your schedule, it messes with you.

Your mind, your body, your relationships. It really leaves no stone unturned. And while the companies that push this culture might see short term gains, the long term cost is massive for them and for you. So I want to talk about this always on culture today and unravel it a little bit.

What's it really doing to you? Where did it even come from? And how do you start pushing back in a way that doesn't make you feel guilty or like you're putting a target on your back? Let's start with what I mean by always on. It's not just about [00:01:00] checking emails late at night or responding to slack messages during your kid's soccer game.

It's the mindset really. The deeply ingrained expectation that you're available all the time. Even when you're technically off the clock, Your brain is still tethered, essentially, to work. For me it shows up as a nagging little voice in my head, saying, Should I check my email? Did I miss anything? If I don't reply right away, will they think I'm lazy? It's a weird guilt I feel when I step away from my computer, as if the world might literally implode if I'm not sitting at my desk. And I gotta say, it's not just mentally exhausting, it's physically harmful too.

Because when your brain is stuck in that constant state of hypervigilance, your body reacts as if you're under attack. Those stress hormones, like cortisol and adrenaline, well they, they spike. Because your nervous system can't tell the difference between an actual life or death situation and a passive aggressive, just circling back email.[00:02:00] 

You know you love those. And those hormones are supposed to be temporary, but when you're always on, they never really go away. And that really messes with you. Chronic elevated cortisol can literally rewire your brain. Studies have shown that long term exposure to stress shrinks the prefrontal cortex, which is the part of your brain responsible for decision making and focus, and it beefs up the amygdala, which is the fear center. So essentially that makes you more reactive and less able to think clearly. And it doesn't stop there. When your body is in a constant state of stress, your sleep suffers because your body is stuck in go mode. you're also likely to burn out faster because decision fatigue makes it harder to focus. to prioritize or even care about the work you're doing. And the scariest of them all is that chronic stress has been linked to heart disease, hypertension, and even autoimmune disorders. So no, it's not just annoying.

It's actively [00:03:00] eroding your health, your energy, and your ability to function at your best. And the thing we need to realize is that it doesn't always look super extreme. I mean it's not like you're literally chained to your desk 24 7. It's usually pretty sneakier than that. You might be keeping your phone within reach all the time just in case something urgent comes up.

And while something urgent rarely does happen, that habit of checking your phone constantly reinforces the idea that you need to do that. Or maybe you're sitting on your couch and you tell yourself that you're just going to clear a few emails so that you can get a handle on tomorrow before it comes.

But here's the thing, Work will only expand to fill the time that you give it. and listen, clearing your inbox at night doesn't make tomorrow any easier. It really just makes tonight worse. Or perhaps you have a little FOMO. Even if no one has explicitly said that you need to respond immediately, you have this fear of being seen as disengaged or [00:04:00] uncommitted.

Or you don't want to miss out on anything important. So you end up being tethered to your laptop long after you've logged off or you're supposed to have logged off. And these traps are so normalized that we really don't even question them anymore. Plus companies often encourage this behavior either directly or indirectly by rewarding people who are always available or by setting unclear expectations and availability.

But before we talk solutions, I want to rewind for a second, figure out How did we end up in this mess in the first place? This always on culture didn't just show up one day. It's been brewing for years and it's the perfect storm of technology, workplace norms, and capitalism doing its thing. So let's start with technology.

Back in the day, there were built in boundaries. Your boss literally couldn't just pop into your DMs or send a quick email at night If they wanted to reach you, they had to call your landline. And honestly, No one was really [00:05:00] trying to track you down after hours unless it was a real emergency. There was a clear line between work and home, and it was typically respected.

Fast forward to now, between email, Slack, Teams, Asana, and whatever other apps your company uses, work doesn't just follow you home. It moves in, it raids your fridge, and hogs the remote. These tools were supposed to make work easier. And don't get me wrong, they do. But instead, they've also made it inescapable.

The expectation isn't just that you're reachable during work hours, it's that you're reachable always. Plus there's the illusion of convenience, thinking that it'll only take a second to reply. But those seconds add up. A study from Microsoft a few years ago found that the average worker spends over 50 percent of their work week just in email and meetings.

And that's actually just during office hours. So [00:06:00] imagine what those quick responses outside of work are doing to your downtime, your relationships, and your overall peace of mind. Now layer that tech problem with hustle culture. That toxic mindset that equates working yourself to the bone with being successful or valuable. But hustle culture isn't really about productivity. Most of the time it's about performance. Looking busy, sounding busy, and posting inspirational quotes on social media about how you never stop grinding.

And yet studies have shown time and time again that overwork doesn't actually lead to higher quality results. In fact, after about 40 hours a week, productivity tanks. Yet companies and society keep feeding us this narrative because it serves their bottom line. If you believe that working harder and longer makes you a better employee, you'll give more than what's reasonable and they'll just keep taking it.

And then just when things were already messy, the pandemic came along and said, hold my beer. Suddenly the lines between [00:07:00] work and home life weren't just blurred, they were literally obliterated. Your kitchen table became your desk, your living room became your Zoom room, and your kids, pets, or houseplants They became your office mates.

At first it felt novel for many of us. We didn't have commutes. We could wear sweatpants all day. Life was glorious, in some aspects, obviously. The pandemic was rough. But over time it became clear that the same physical boundaries that helped us separate work from home were starting to dissipate. Even as the world shifted into a hybrid or remote first work model.

Companies didn't really adapt in a meaningful way. They often leaned into old habits, like those long hours, the constant check ins, even more so now because of virtual. Digital presenteeism. This has all led to an exhausted workforce trying to navigate an already overwhelming situation. And then, of course, there's [00:08:00] this underlying system driving all of this.

Capitalism. Look, I'm not here to rant about economics or politics. But I do have to call it what it is. This push for constant availability is mostly about profit. Companies want more output with fewer resources. And being always on is a convenient way to squeeze every last drop of productivity out of you.

It's why the glorification of overwork exists in the first place. Why companies praise employees who are always available, but rarely recognize the ones who set boundaries and still get their shit done. It's not really about the work itself. It's a little bit about control. Making sure that you're always there, always ready, always proving your worth.

So basically we're here because technology, hustle culture, the pandemic, and systemic pressures have all combined to create a workplace where always on is expected. But just because this culture feels normal doesn't mean it's [00:09:00] okay.

And listen. The system is designed to make you feel like you're the problem when you can't keep up, but it's actually the system itself. This is all about recognizing that we've been conditioned to think that this is what it takes to succeed, and realizing that we have the power to opt out. This isn't a you problem, it's a cultural problem, and you don't have to play by its rules.

So let's get into fixing this mess, because now I know that living in this state isn't really sustainable, but pushing back. Doesn't necessarily mean storming into your boss's office with a megaphone shouting, I'm setting boundaries. Although, let me tell you, that would be one bad ass move, but it may not do you any good in the long run.

It's more about deciding what you're willing to give and what you absolutely need to protect and then holding that line with confidence. But I will warn you changing your relationship with work is not a quick fix. It is a process. And it starts with rewiring some deeply ingrained habits and beliefs that you may [00:10:00] hold.

So let's walk through what this can actually look like. First, I want to talk about urgency for a minute, because this is where so many of us get tripped up. We've been trained to believe that everything is urgent. When a new email hits your inbox, you're tempted to drop everything just to respond to it. Or let's say you get a ping from Slack. You're probably going to stop what you're doing to respond.

And when someone schedules a last minute meeting, you end up rearranging your entire day just to make that meeting. Deep down, we know that most things aren't actually all that urgent. They just feel that way because we've been conditioned to respond instantly. But how do we break that cycle? My recommendation is to start by challenging the urgency.

When someone sends you a request, ask questions that help you understand when they really need that thing by. Is the request blocking anyone else's work? Like, are you going to be a blocker in the process? And maybe what is the actual priority level of the thing that they're asking for? More often than not, when you dig into these [00:11:00] questions, people will often say that there's no rush to getting it done.

And if there is, then you at least have more clarity and context around it now.

Another big part of why we stay stuck in this always on culture is the stories that we tell ourselves about success and what's expected of us. For me, this looks like narratives like people will think I'm lazy if I don't respond right away, or that I gotta take this project on because I need my boss to see me as a team player, or this fear of everyone judging me if I log off early or take time off.

And the thing is, these stories are usually totally exaggerated or flat out false. But they feel real because we've internalized them over time. So, if you're like me and you catch yourself spiraling with these kinds of narratives, ask yourself what evidence there is for that story. Like, is there actual proof that your co worker thinks you're slacking because you didn't respond to their email at midnight?

Or are you just assuming? And y'all know what assuming does, right? I don't know. I also want a need to talk about boundaries here because [00:12:00] you can't set meaningful boundaries if you don't know what you're protecting in the first place. So I suggest asking yourself three questions. What are my priorities outside of work?

What do I need to feel rested and recharged? And what lines am I unwilling to cross? For me, this means that I don't respond to emails after five when my day ends. And I am sure to block off at least 30 minutes for lunch every day. For you, it might be making it to your kid's soccer game or keeping your weekends completely sacred.

Whatever it is, you gotta own it unapologetically. And remember that you don't need to explain or justify your boundaries to anyone. And while we're on this topic, can we please normalize saying no as a society? I mean, I totally get it. Saying no is uncomfortable, especially when you're a high achieving perfectionist who wants to do all the things.

But we've got to start practicing saying no, and you can do that by starting with low priority [00:13:00] tasks or things that fall outside your role. In corporate speak, saying things like, I'm at capacity right now, or I don't have the bandwidth for that, shows that you're being intentional and respectful of your limits.

And finally, I want you to zoom out for a sec. Why are you doing all this? Why did you choose to listen to this episode? Why are you trying to push back against this always on culture in the first place? My guess is that it's because you want more out of life than just work, right? You want time for your family, your hobbies, your health.

You want to wake up in the morning feeling excited about the day, not completely dreading it. So whenever you feel resistance, And believe me, you will, whether it's from others or from your own inner dialogue. Just be sure to come back to this why. Remind yourself that setting boundaries allows you to show up better for yourself and for everyone around you.

Look, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Releasing yourself of this always on culture is going to take time and [00:14:00] tension and a hell of a lot of nerve to go against the grain of what society, and maybe even your workplace, has conditioned you to believe. But it's more than worth it. Because at the end of the day, your job is just one part of your life.

Yes, it may be a big chunk of your life, but it's not your whole life. Let me say that again for the people in the back. Your job is not your whole life.

I know that can be hard to fully embrace, especially if you're like me, and you've tied your identity, self worth, or your value to what you do for a living. It feels like if you're not constantly proving yourself, everything just might fall apart. But what if the real key to success, both professionally and personally, isn't about constant availability, but about being intentional with your time, energy, and focus?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. The world will not stop spinning because you logged off. That email can wait. The Slack message will still be there in the morning. And the work you're doing is important, yes, [00:15:00] but so are you. Just think, what would your life look like if you weren't constantly tethered to work?

If you had the energy to really enjoy your weekends, what would that look like? What if you could leave your desk at five without feeling guilty? Or imagine waking up without that pit in your stomach that comes from reaching for your phone immediately and checking your email first thing in the morning.

Or being fully present at dinner, laughing with your family, without your mind wandering back to that project that's been sitting on your plate all week. Imagine feeling truly rested for the first time in who the hell knows how long. You deserve that life, friend. You deserve a life that's as good as it looks.

One where you're not just dragging through the days, but actually living them. Where you can chase your ambitions without losing yourself or your sanity. Where you can be successful without sacrificing your health, relationships, or happiness. I know it's hard to make changes like this, but I also know that you're capable of hard things.

[00:16:00] And I promise the work that you put into shifting these patterns will pay off. Friend, thanks for spending time with me today, and remember to leave a review for the podcast and share this episode with someone who could use the words of wisdom. Until next time, take care of yourself, set that boundary, and log off when you need to.

Bye now.