Networking Without the Cringe with Devin Lasker

This episode is perfect for those who cringe at the thought of networking! 

We talk about authentic relationship building, how to feel more connected in a disconnected world, and Devin's key strategies for keeping relationships warm. Hear how he landed on The Real World thanks to networking and learn practical tips you can implement immediately. 

From selfless networking to leveraging LinkedIn features, this conversation is packed with actionable advice for expanding your career and impact. Tune in to discover why networking doesn't have to be dreadful and how it can genuinely change your life.

Check out the detailed show notes (https://tarakermiet.com/podcast/) and leave your thoughts or questions about today's topic. 

To connect with Devin:

• LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/devinlasker)
• Website (https://www.devinlasker.com/)

Need a little more balance and a lot more badass in your life? Check out my 1:1 coaching sessions designed to help you tackle your biggest challenges, manage stress, and create a personalized plan for success. Your first 30-minute session is free! Visit tarakermiet.com to get started. 

Want to turn your dreams into reality? Check out my 7 Days to Crushing Your Goals mini-course! This course is packed with practical lessons and hands-on activities designed to help you define your “why,” leverage your strengths, and take decisive action. By the end, you'll have a clear plan and the tools you need to crush your goals. Visit tarakermiet.com/crushyourgoals to join the course and start making things happen! 

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction and Special Guest Announcement
• 2:44 Icebreaker: What's Bringing Joy Right Now?
• 4:12 The Power of Networking: A Personal Story
• 8:53 Authentic Networking: Selflessness and Relationship Building
• 10:19 Overcoming Networking Anxiety
• 16:57 The Importance of Networking Education
• 21:25 Practical Networking Tips and Techniques
• 23:40 The Power of LinkedIn's Catchup Feature
• 24:27 Personalizing Your Messages
• 24:52 Maintaining Warm Relationships
• 28:21 Reverse Engineering Networking Success
• 39:46 Final Thoughts and How to Connect

Transcript

Tara: [00:00:00] All right. I have a special treat for you today, my friend. I am really excited because our guest today is a past colleague and a friend of mine, so I'm very excited to, to get into this conversation. I know that today's episode's going to be a good one, especially if you've. Ever heard the word networking and you immediately want to crawl under your desk or a rock or your bed or whatever.

Um, so we're gonna be talking definitely about building real relationships that really help you grow your career, but also expand your impact and just generally feel more connected in a world that I think we can often feel more disconnected just because of the way life is. So. This is all about it. We are talking about being authentic and not cringe about it.

And that's what I love about Devon's approach. So to help us do that, I am bringing one of the best, Devon Lasker. He is a dynamic [00:01:00] executive. He's a leading expert in the art of networking. And when I tell you like he has helped students, he's helped professionals just learn how to build lasting.

Meaningful relationships that open doors and create opportunities. And I'll tell you, he has walked that walk himself. His work has been featured in places like the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, Forbes, and even food and Wine. So clearly Devin knows what he's talking about. And I promise you, you're probably gonna wanna save this episode for sure.

So Devin, welcome to the Balanced Badass Podcast my friend.

Devin: Wow. That was a great intro. Um, uh, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for asking me. I'm really proud of all that you're doing. Um, and I, I was honored that you invited me on. Um, so let, let's get to it.

Tara: Let's get to it. Yes. I love it. And before we jump into [00:02:00] the good networking stuff, I just wanna start with a quick icebreaker question for you, and that is, what is something that you're loving in your life right now?

Devin: That's a great question, and I love this time of year, right when baseball season starts

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Devin: rolls around. That means summer's not too far ahead my favorite time of the year, so I'm just looking forward to the warm weather. I'm up here on the east coast, looking forward to playing some golf. Looking forward to, uh, the kids being out of school, getting to spend some more time with them, um, and just, you know. Rolling. Rolling. With life. Rolling with life. It's, it's, it's, uh, it's a good time and I'm, I'm excited for the, the change of the season right now.

Tara: I love it. I'm right there with you. It's nice to be able to go outside and get some fresh air and not be cooped up in the house and all that jazz. Although I don't like all the pollen that's around, but you know, you gotta deal with some of that.

Devin: I, I don't, I'm, I'm cool with the pollen. Doesn't affect me, my

Tara: Hmm.

Devin: my son on the other [00:03:00] hand. Terrible. Me

Tara: Yeah,

Devin: we dodged that bullet, but

Tara: man, you're lucky.

Devin: hits them. Yeah,

Tara: Yeah. I didn't have it when I used to live up north and then when I moved south, it bam hit me like a ton of bricks. For sure.

Devin: I'm very sorry.

Tara: That's okay. You know, it's part of the price you pay for the beautiful flowers and trees and all that, so

Devin: There you go.

Tara: it's worth it, I think. Yep, exactly. So, Devin, let's get started.

And my first question for you is. When you think about your past and just the experiences that have gotten you to this point, what has been the most surprising or random opportunity that you've landed because of a relationship that you've built?

Devin: Yeah. older I get, the more

Tara: I,

Devin: I have. Right. Isn't that how it works?

Tara: yeah.

Devin: so I. Yeah, a really good question. Um, I'd have to say that it was the relationship that [00:04:00] got me on the real world as the boss of the cast during season 10. And it's, it, I mean, if there's a thing or a situation that describes networking. this is it. And one of the keys of networking that I talk about all the time, and that's one key part is keeping your relationships warm and of, you know, of course we get deeper into that, but. It was, uh, early in my career. I was a few years into my career and I decided to try out for the real world.

I don't know why on a whim, decided to, to try out for the real world. I knew they were filming in New York. I made myself, uh, uh, an appointment. I went over to MTV studios in Times Square, online, went in, auditioned, whether I got it or not. I wanted to obviously, but my main goal was I wanted to meet the creators of the show,

Tara: Hmm.

Devin: I did.

I met both creators of the show and [00:05:00] I got their business cards, and I went through the audition, didn't make it. Um, but when I got back to the office, what I did was, is I added both of them to my mailing list and I was at, uh, Arista records at the time. Um, and we had tons of hits. This was, you know, in the nineties, late nineties.

And, um, the way it worked was every time we had a new record that came out, the people on my mailing list would get sent that cd and there was a little note in there, it said, with my compliments, Devin. And this had gone on, you know, for the years that I had, you know, a job there. And a couple years after meeting, uh, the creators, I got a phone call in the office and it was one of the creators and they're like, Hey Devin, you know, it's so and so from, uh, bona Murray Productions.

Thanks so much for the CDs over the years. They're great. Listen, we're thinking of having the cast. Um, we're coming back to New York and we're thinking of having the cast work at a record label. Um, what do you think about them working at Arista? So I [00:06:00] was like, wow, you know, fantastic opportunity. I'm already thinking, you know, they're gonna be on MTV, we have all these bands that we could get, you know, promoted on, on the

Tara: Right.

Devin: So I went and I spoke to the president of, uh, Arista at the time. Everyone was on board. And, uh, and we did it and it worked out. And, um, you know, this was when Pink was first breaking and, uh, outcast and so many others, and they got this free exposure on, uh, on the real world. to me, that is a case of keeping your relationships warm, right? made this contact, I wanted to make that contact. This was one way of keeping 'em warm, was putting 'em on my mailing list. And that was it. It was set it and forget it. And it came back to me. Right? And that's the whole idea about keeping your relationships warm, is I like to talk about you don't want to just collect connections, right?

You don't

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Devin: be on LinkedIn and be like, oh my God, I have 2000 connections and talk to none of them. Right? It's like having, uh, a library full of books, but you don't read any, it's [00:07:00] kind of useless, right? So having 2000 connections and not keeping 'em warm. Means nothing. You have to maintain those relationships and, you know, we could talk about different ways that, that I do it.

Uh, but to answer your question, without getting too verbose, that was the most unique, um, situation that, that and, and outcome that came from, from networking for sure.

Tara: Yeah, and I love that. I always love that story when you share that. And what I like too is that it was something so simple of sending a CD out. I mean, obviously now we don't really send CDs, but there's something, you know, what is a cd? Yeah. A lot of people. Probably don't know. Um, but I think that's, that's the point, is you can find something very simple and it came from a genuine place.

Like sure, you had intention of meeting the creator and wanting to have that relationship, but you were also just wanting to have some goodwill there. [00:08:00] And I think you talk a lot about that too, is that it has to come from an authentic place with that relationship building.

Devin: Absolutely. I mean, the, the key to networking for me is having a selfless attitude towards it. You know, a lot of, um, people think, all right, I'm gonna start networking because. I need, I need things. What could this person do for me? How could they help me? And that's the exact, in my opinion, in my experience,

Tara: Hmm.

Devin: the exact wrong way to go about networking.

Networking should be about how you could help other people selflessly not looking for things in return. And you could do it in a variety of different ways. You know, if, if you're on LinkedIn and you see a friend of yours is looking for a, a graphic designer, make that, and you know, a graphic designer and a good graphic designer. Make that connection with no expectation of anything in return, just do it. Don't call up your graphic designer friend and say, Hey, someone's looking for a graphic designer. I'm gonna recommend you. And whatever happens, you know, gimme 10%. Look, you could do [00:09:00] business however you wanna do business. That's not how I do it.

Right. That's, that's the selfless way that you should go about networking because it will come back to you. Right? And, and I say this, uh, you know, the Beatles have a famous song and it ends with, uh, and in the end. The love you take is equal to the love you make. And that's, that's really how I view networking.

The more you

Tara: Yeah.

Devin: the more you get. And that's what Paul was talking about in, in that line. And that's how I firmly believe. Um, you get the most outta networking. I.

Tara: Yeah, yeah. I agree. I think, and you know, I mentioned earlier in the introduction that a lot of people, and I was even in this camp as an introvert and someone who I. Does not like to be out in crowds and that kinda stuff. When I used to hear the word networking, I mean, it would bring up a lot of anxiety

Devin: Mm-hmm.

Tara: in my body and all that.

And so I would avoid it kind of like the plague. And [00:10:00] you know, I, I like to think of it now as relationship building and that having that perspective and that mindset shift really helped for me. Now I'm curious for you, like, what do you think we as. People get wrong about networking. And how would you define it?

How do you define it for yourself?

Devin: Yeah, I mean, I define it the same way you do, and that's what I tell people. Also, if, if the word, if the term networking bothers you, I. about networking

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Devin: about it as relationships. All you're doing is forming relationships, right? And people are forming forging relationships all the time, right?

Students are doing it with their fellow students, with their teachers, professors, whatever it is, you're doing it with your colleagues. You're building these relationships without any effort, without knowing that you're doing it. It's when you put that, oh my God, I'm now building something. I know it's the same thing. It's the same thing. So my advice is that that little, uh, shift of a [00:11:00] mindset could, could certainly help you. And I always say start to have low risk conversations, right? If you are worried about an upcoming networking event, how am I gonna talk to people? Don't make that the first time you go out and venture to talk to people.

Talk to a cashier, right? Talk to the barista and Starbucks just. Get used to talking people, uh, talking to people. Um, so I think that that's a great way to, to get over that hump and fear. Um, I also would recommend that people stop giving a shit what people think about them, right?

Tara: Yes.

Devin: life, the, the biggest change was when I stopped caring what other people thought about me.

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Devin: And I know it's difficult, especially when you are younger and I'm talking to my kids about this and their teens in high school. That's peak. I care what people think. Right. But as you get older, stop it. Stop it. You know, the, the spotlight effect, I don't know how familiar you're [00:12:00] with the Spotlight Effect, but that there was a study done. And not to get long-winded about it, but they, it was, they try to put someone in an embarrassing situation and then they ask that person, how many people do you think noticed? You wearing this t-shirt and it was a t-shirt of Barry Manalow on a college campus, right? And the people that had the T-shirt said, oh, at least half people, half the people, 50%. It turns out only 25% saw and took note of that. So that tells you that people are thinking about you much less than you think they are thinking about you, right? It's like this ego thing. You're thinking about something. So everybody else must be thinking, uh, thinking about the same thing, but that's not true. So. try to flip that switch and not care what people think, because most of them aren't thinking about you at all.

Tara: Yeah, yeah, when I turned it, it was amazing. I, I started not caring like in my thirties, but ma'am, when I tell you when I, I turned 40, it was like a whole switch and I don't give a date. [00:13:00] Am what anybody thinks. Like,

Devin: Yeah.

Tara: I, I just don't care. I'm gonna do me, I'm gonna do what's important to me. And you bring up such a good point that that study is really interesting.

We're all so focused on what other people are thinking about us, that we're not paying attention to what other people are doing.

Devin: Mm-hmm.

Tara: are spending more time just worried about that than actually. Focusing on even anyone else because you're so focused on worried about that, being worried about that.

So I think it, it's really interesting that that's a perspective, but I think that that's a good point about just don't care. 'cause that's a lot of the networking, I think in the anxiety comes from the worry that you're gonna say something wrong or look like an idiot or whatever,

Devin: For sure.

Tara: but who cares?

Devin: who cares? Who cares? And you know, there's, there's something that I, I call the spotlight reversal, right?

Tara: Hmm.

Devin: a little trick [00:14:00] where. Instead of thinking, everybody's thinking about you and you're gonna walk into this room, and all of a sudden that spotlight's on, you go into that situation thinking how I could help someone else,

Tara: Hmm.

Devin: the next time you go to an event, instead of like, oh my God, walking in, whoop, here comes Devin. No, I'm walking in with a mission. I'm gonna find three people and I'm gonna figure out how I could help them. So

Tara: Mm.

Devin: takes that spotlight off of you and puts it on other people, and it gives you. a mission to accomplish during that, um, that event.

Tara: Mm-hmm. And it helps, I think, automatically to shift that narrative from kind of the networking preconception to that relationship building. I like that. I love that.

Devin: Thank you.

Tara: So I talk a lot on this show, obviously about burnout. That's kind of my, you know, area. Um, I talk about misalignment too, a lot. And I know that you've worked with a lot of people who've completely transformed their careers through [00:15:00] connection, through networking, through this relationship building.

Why do you think so many of us overlook this? Kind of power play that we can put into place when we're stuck in that burnout, when we're ready to, to make a move. Why do you think that there's that blockage for us?

Devin: Well, I mean, I think it could go all the way back before that person was ever even blocked. Right?

Tara: Hmm

Devin: they don't teach networking as far

Tara: mm-hmm.

Devin: right? You, you don't learn about networking in high school or college. Maybe there's a random course or something like that, but it's not. When they talk about how you could be successful, there are so many other things that they teach you, you know, in, in business school, whatever it is. But networking goes under the radar. You're kind of to figure it out yourself, right? So they might not know in that situation that, Hey, I should utilize my network, um, these days with so many people out of work. I see, you know, I go on my LinkedIn feed and [00:16:00] I see so many people that are, that are open to work, and I immediately. Want to help right. I

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Devin: out to basically everyone that I see, how can I help? If there's a, a company that I'm connected to, reach out to me, depending upon my relationship with that person, I will make an introduction, right? So it's coming from this place, it's coming from an outsider in, but I really do think that people should start considering, hey. This isn't an embarrassing situation, right? This is happening to a lot of people. need to rally the troops around me and figure out how I could utilize my network and hopefully, hopefully they've. Really gotten so much goodwill over the years because they were selfless and they kept their relationships warm.

That now's the time where it's, it's time to, you know, take that deposit out from the bank and be

Tara: Right.

Devin: now's the time for [00:17:00] help. Um, so yeah, I just think it comes from a lack of, of education and knowing how powerful that, uh, networking could be. I think everyone knows I should network. But unless they're in it and doing it and have seen some benefit from it, I, I, I, I just don't think people understand the, the gravity of, of the, of its importance.

Tara: Yeah, some of the best advice that I got when I left my nine to five was from somebody that I had worked with years and years ago, and. They were talking about me like about what my next steps were. And at that point I had no idea what I was going to do. I just willy-nilly hoping for the best and they were like, get on my LinkedIn, go through all of my connections.

Devin: Yeah.

Tara: If there is one or two or however many that you're interested in, send me that list. And like what kind of you, why you're interested in that connection. And I similarly will make that connection for you. And that was really. [00:18:00] Helpful for me because it one it, I didn't have to ask for the help. I think that that's where some people struggle too, is we don't like asking for help and it doesn't feel comfortable sometimes, but that person just automatically offered.

So I think that that's a great point about also thinking proactively for others too. Like if you're seeing those open to work, to really reach out to those folks and. Offer a way to help, not just how can I help, but here is how I can help.

Devin: Sure. Absolutely. And you know, and to your point about to ask for help, there's, there's something called the Ben Franklin Effect, and it's also a study that says if you ask for advice people, it makes you likable.

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Devin: because you're coming to this person and you're trusting them, right? All of a sudden, you're, you're looked upon differently to that person, right? So you should never be afraid to ask for [00:19:00] advice or ask for help, because psychologically it's making you more likable to that person, and in turn, they're gonna want to help you because now you're likable. And, and trustworthy and all that. So, um, that's something that I learned recently over the past couple of years that the, this, there's actually a term for that. Uh, and I thought it was really interesting and, and you know, I like to point that out, that you're afraid, don't be afraid to ask. It's actually a good thing for you.

Tara: Yeah, it makes sense too because you're, when I think about even just leadership, like vulnerability is such an important

Devin: Mm-hmm.

Tara: to that and that builds trust and so therefore asking for advice, it makes sense why that would build trust and and increase kind of your perception in others' eyes. Mm-hmm.

Let's talk about a, about. The logistics of how to do this. 'cause you mentioned like this isn't really something that's taught much. If it is, it's covered. I mean, I remember I, I, we did talk about it in my like grad [00:20:00] program, but it was very high level and it was almost just like thrown at us before we went to a conference about like, here's how you talk to people and try to find a job, essentially.

But let's say like if someone has 15 minutes today just to work on their networking. What could they do right now without having to maybe go to an event or do a email blast or connection request blast to like 20 people on LinkedIn? What are some of the simplest, most effective tolls that you swear by when it comes to this meaningful networking and relationship building?

Devin: Yeah, sure. I mean, uh, there, there, there are. A few main things, a few main tenets of networking and you know, sometimes people call networking a skill, but I think it's just, it's a combination of a lot of skills,

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Devin: master to become really good at networking. being that selfless, likable person, keeping your relationship warm, [00:21:00] um, are are key.

So some things people could do. Something I do all the time daily. Is I'm on my phone, I'm, I'm reading the news, um, often too much. Right? But I'm, I'm reading the news, reading articles, you know, reading, you know, something that takes me to this magazine. Whatever it is. Most of it has nothing to do with me, the business I'm in or even my interest or anything. I know someone who. It could benefit from this article. So what I do is I simply copy the link. If I'm familiar with that person and I have 'em on on text, I'll text 'em, be like, Hey, I just read this thought. You might find it interesting what's going on, how you been send, if it's an email doing the same kind of thing.

Right? So this again, talking about likability and keeping your relationships warm, this does both. We're like, wow, just sent this to me. cool. He knows, you know, this is my hobby or this is my business. He's not looking for anything. He's just being a nice guy. Right? [00:22:00] Likable, the relationship warm.

Right? So it's these kind of things that you could do. LinkedIn, they want you to connect with your, um. your connections. They make it easy. They have a catchup feature that most people hate, and I know that they hate this because when I was doing research for the A course that I was creating, I was finding things, articles like LinkedIn, your Catchup feature sucks.

This is why I don't use it. You know, I don't care, you know, it was crazy. golden opportunity for people who want to network to be like, I'm gonna use this feature. And if you're not familiar with the feature, anybody listening is they tell you if it's your connection's birthday, when they have a work anniversary, when they change jobs, whatever it is, and it gives you the option to like it. Send a pre-written note that they have or write your own note. And there are varying degrees, right? Liking it. Is great, but it's also lazy. It's not as lazy as not, know, um, acknowledging it, but [00:23:00] you know, like it. a note. Don't send a note that says, Hey, congrats on your work anniversary Again, that's better than no note, but take five seconds and write something personal.

They're like, oh my God, this is so amazing. Congrats. I remember when you first started here. Boom, right? And do that. If you have 15 minutes a day, 10 minutes a day, think about how many of those, if you go through your LinkedIn feed, how many of those you could keep replying to, and that's another connection.

Warm, some more goodwill. More likability. So those, you know, those are a couple of things and there are a million. You might find something that works for you, but as long as you're doing it and you're doing it in a selfless manner, it's gonna come back to you tenfold for sure.

Tara: Yeah, I, you opened my eyes to that feature of LinkedIn 'cause I honestly had never really noticed it until you talked about it at some point. I don't know when it was. When we were working together or in your course, but it was, I was like, oh crap. Like I have [00:24:00] never paid attention to that. So now I make it an intention to go and check it at least every morning just to see what's going on.

Sometimes I, I comment, sometimes I don't. It just kind of depends on who the person is too. 'cause I don't wanna

Devin: Sure.

Tara: be a little too random and be like, oh, we haven't talked in, you know, 25 years, but here we are. Um, but I think,

Devin: you're doing that.

Tara: yeah. So thanks for that tip. That was really.

Devin: welcome.

Tara: A very helpful tip. I also think like the articles, um, I like to send podcasts 'cause that's usually what I'm listening to, or podcasts, and I'll send episodes to folks.

I feel like that's your modern day CD that you're mailing out now.

Devin: Oh, absolutely.

Tara: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Devin: For sure. Yeah. As, as long as you're having those touch points and checking in it, it really doesn't matter what you're doing it, you know what you're doing as long as, as you're doing

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Devin: Yeah. You never want to be that person like you. Like you just said, oh, I know we haven't spoken in 25 years, you know, but I need, you know.

Oh, I hate to ask. I know it's been so long. It's uncomfortable, right?

Tara: [00:25:00] Yeah.

Devin: it's uncomfortable for that person to receive it. And if you have any self-awareness, it's,

Tara: Yeah.

Devin: be uncomfortable for you to send. So sometimes it's unavoidable, right? You

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Devin: be in contact with everyone all the time, right?

Sometimes that be like, oh my God, that's the one person that I haven't touched base with. But you want to try to avoid that as much as possible.

Tara: Yeah. One thing I have noticed though is that even when you do genuinely reach out to somebody that maybe you haven't talked to in a while, like I, I had somebody from grad school. Maybe a few months ago reach out to me on LinkedIn. Just, she sent me a message and she was just, all she said was, you look the exact same as when you were in grad school.

And that one thanks because I appreciate that. 'cause it's been a while, but that warmed up the relationship again, like we haven't talked. Literally since the day we graduated in 2008 probably. But now we communicate every few weeks. Like we just check in with each other, see how things [00:26:00] are going, and that made me feel so good to just have her back in some sort of, you know, circle and conversation.

Devin: That's all it takes.

Tara: Yeah,

Devin: difficult.

Tara: it's not.

Devin: good at it, it's not difficult. Trust me. Trust me, it's, it's not difficult. It's just being a, a, a kind, good person. Right. And that's it. That, that's great. That,

Tara: Yeah,

Devin: outreach. That was

Tara: yeah,

Devin: outreach.

Tara: I loved it.

Devin: Mm-hmm.

Tara: let's say, so you, you know, you just said, if I can do it, pretty much anybody can do it. You have really built a, your career and your reputation through connection. I mean, just example after example, I feel like of how this can really work. And if someone were to try to reverse engineer.

Your networking style, what do you think would stand out? What are some key things that would stand out?

Devin: Um. Yeah, that, that, I love that [00:27:00] question. Uh, you know, I, I just, I just said it right before, you

Tara: Hmm. I.

Devin: I just try to be a nice, kind person. Right. I try to to be a fun colleague, right. I like to be the person in the meetings. cracks the joke. That is an icebreaker that is, you know, self-deprecating, right?

The, I can't tell you the amount of times that I've referenced my lack of hair on a call with complete strangers to just everyone, right? So it starts with that. It starts with likability you know, if you want to set someone up on a blind date, you're not gonna set them up with a jerk,

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Devin: Same thing with networking. No one, someone might have to work with you. You know, if you're on the same team or whatever, you might have to work with this person, but you're never gonna refer them if, if they have a specialized skill you're never gonna refer them to for a job or anything like that. First and foremost, you want to be a good person.

You want to treat others with [00:28:00] respect. You want to follow the golden rule, right? And it makes sense to do that. But you'd be surprised or maybe not surprised how many people just don't follow that anymore. Everyone's out for themselves.

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Devin: wants to just get ahead and step on other people and all that other stuff. Just don't do that. So the first part of reverse engineering, you know why I believe, you know, I'm successful. It gives us appearance that I'm successful in networking, and I thank you for saying that is because I try to be a nice person first and foremost. Um. And then, you know, coming back to keeping the relationships warm, I am not into just collecting relationships just to collect them.

Right.

Tara: Yeah.

Devin: And. If you're part of my network, you're part of my network for a reason. We've had some interaction, right? This isn't Instagram or TikTok where I'm worried about how many followers I have, or I don't care if I had five connections and I was able to utilize those connections. That's more valuable to me than how many a thousand and not talking to anybody.

Right? And another thing [00:29:00] is, like I said. Stop caring what other people think and just have conversations with everyone. I talk to everyone, random people I meet in the store, cashiers. If I see someone with, I was in Costco recently and this woman was walking by an older woman. She was probably in her late sixties, seventies, and she had this amazing hat on.

It was like furry and this and that, and we were walking. On opposite sides. We were walking towards each other and I just said to her, oh my God, I love your hat. That looks like so much fun. And she stopped and she smiled and looked at me and that that was it. They had like, they were sampling like quesadillas or something over there.

So I didn't want to stop and talk 'cause I was hungry.

Tara: Gotta get the quesadilla.

Devin: had, that's right. I could have definitely had a conversation with her if I wanted to. It's so simple. It's so simple. People complicated and it's really not that complicated. So. Long-winded response and my apologies, be likable. Be the person that people want to [00:30:00] work with and associate with. Be selfless and have conversations. Have conversations. That's a good starting point.

Tara: Yeah, and once again, it just,

Devin: You

Tara: right.

Devin: where those conversations gonna lead, right? That that barista at Starbucks that you see every day that you've been ignoring. mom or dad might be the head of HR for Google. You don't know,

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Devin: You don't know. And you don't want to go into a conversation looking for an outcome. You just want to have these conversations, right? And you wanna form these relationships. And then if they come back to you, great. If they don't, you, you've had a, a nice conversation.

You have a new relationship, but you're never gonna know unless you take that first step and just open up network just to network, don't network for an outcome.

Tara: Yeah,

Devin: first starting

Tara: yeah,

Devin: and even ever.

Tara: yeah. I think the whole just be a good human. We forget about that piece. And [00:31:00] how important it is to networking, like I, you talking about you never know what it could lead to. Uh, a few months ago I had an ra so I was, I worked in residence life, had, you know, lots of RAs work. I've worked with a lot of students, um, you know, in my career.

But I had an ra, I haven't talked to him in years.

Devin: Mm-hmm.

Tara: He texted me and he was like, I hope this is still your number and. He had seen what I was doing on LinkedIn work-wise and he was planning a conference for teachers and he was like, I would love for you to come do a breakout session. And I was like, wow, that is amazing.

And felt completely out of, out of the blue. But

Devin: Yeah.

Tara: it just goes to show. He was like, I always liked working with you. You were fun. Like we had a good time. I'd love to be able to help you out in this. Time, and I'm like, wow, that was

Devin: That's,

Tara: a warm, fuzzy moment,

Devin: That's awesome. And if you weren't that nice person or fun to [00:32:00] work

Tara: right?

Devin: he never would've reached out to you. Right?

Tara: Yeah.

Devin: we do this exercise sometimes when I'm doing these networking, um, events and, and seminars. The first thing I do is ask the, the viewers, and if you're, you know, you're watching this, you want to do it now, just pick up their phone, open up their text messages and scroll to the very, very, very bottom of your text messages.

Why? Because if they're at the bottom. These are people that you haven't spoken to in, in a very long time. Right? So you could go, it could be a year, it could be four years, right? Open up that thread and say, Hey, so and so, popped into my head, right? Maybe you could reference something that made them pop into the head or reference something from before. Just wondering how you're doing. You know, in, let me know what's going on, and hit send. For some people it's just like, oh my God, I can't do that. That's crazy. That's great, but just do it. Just do it. If they don't respond, it'll be just as if you didn't text them, [00:33:00] but you never know where that conversation is going to lead,

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Devin: do that a few times. Pick three people every day from the bottom of your text folder. reconnect. You're, you've texted him before. You've texted him for a reason. It, it stopped for whatever reason. Obviously stopped for a, a bad reason. Don't do it. But, um, you know, I, I just think that's a, that's an easy way to, to reconnect and, and you're living proof that, that it works.

Tara: Yeah, I love that too. 'cause it, I mean, that's a quick, tangible thing that folks can do right after or even while they're listening to this, so that's really great. Awesome.

Devin: Yeah.

Tara: Well, Devin, I know we are getting to time, but I have one more question for you and I ask this of everybody I. And this question is because the podcast is all about being a balanced badass, right?

I want folks to live a balanced life while not sacrificing being a badass at it. How do you define being a balanced badass in your [00:34:00] own life?

Devin: Um, that's besides the networking for me, that's kind of. Um, I, I designed my career when I had kids. I designed my career to have a balanced life, right

Tara: Hmm.

Devin: was younger. I was, you know, at the record company living in the city, and I was out almost every night. And, you know, that's, that's a great life when you're, when you're single and all that. When we had kids, I said. This, this is not for me anymore. And I designed my career where I could find somewhere where I could be at home. And I, you know, I've been working from home, even pre COVI, right? Where I could watch my kids grow up and I could be there for every practice and drive 'em wherever they needed to be and every game and there for dinner and all that other stuff.

So for me it was a non-negotiable and it certainly took a hit my career, [00:35:00] you know, as far as advancement.

Tara: Sure.

Devin: you know, I could have gone further, I could have made more money, but to me the, it wasn't even a question. It was just this, this is the type of dad that I wanna be. I wanna be home with my kids and watch 'em grow up.

Because you know what? My daughter's gonna be off to college in, uh, a little over a year. And, um, I'm not saying anything about people who don't make these choices, right? Everyone's an individual,

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Devin: me, this was the only choice to make was to be that balanced person where I work and I work hard and I do a good job, but I didn't know what, I did it in a way where I could do it from home and have that balance in my life to be where at three o'clock if I needed to pick up my daughter or my son at the bus, there to do it.

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Devin: so it's, it's, it's all about a personal choice and, and hopefully, you know, with some work you could, you could find those opportunities for yourself.

Tara: Hmm. Yeah. It's all about prioritizing what's [00:36:00] important to you. Yeah. Yeah.

Devin: For sure.

Tara: Thank you for sharing that and just generally thank you for being here. This was so damn good. I really appreciate it.

Devin: for having me. This was

Tara: Yeah.

Devin: I'm, I'm honored that you asked me, truly.

Tara: Yes, and hopefully, you know, for those of you listening, maybe now you won't crawl under the desk or a rock.

When you hear the word networking and you don't have to do it the old school way, you can really just make it about relationship building, which is the whole point.

Devin: Yep. It is.

Tara: All right. Well Devin, you are honestly welcome back anytime if you ever want to come back on the Balanced Badass Podcast. But until then, how can folks connect with you outside of this episode?

Devin: Yeah, sure. I mean, if you saw me on here and you have any questions that we didn't cover, I. Feel free to message me on LinkedIn. You could find me on LinkedIn. I think I'm the only Devin Lasker on there. Uh, but, you know, look for the picture with the bald head. That's me.

Tara: I.[00:37:00] 

Devin: me, shoot me a, a, a message. Let me know that you saw me from here. Um, so I know you are a dedicated listener and I will answer any questions that you might have. Um, I also have a website, devon lasker.com. I put out this course, it's called How to Talk to Anyone. Um, and it, it walks you through four steps. Of really to get over that hump of, oh my God, I don't know what to say. I feel like an impo. I'm an, I'm an imposter. Easy for me to say. Um, and it just gives you those, those, uh, tips and I think it's really good getting really great feedback, uh, so far. So if you're in that situation, um, and you wanna learn how to talk to anyone, it's, it's on my, uh, website and it comes with a 20 plus page, uh, companion workbook, uh, with exercises, all that other stuff.

So. Check it out if you'd like.

Tara: Yeah,

Devin: opportunity to say that.

Tara: of course. And I'll add the links in the show notes so folks can easily click on them. y'all definitely go connect with [00:38:00] Devin, check out his work 'cause it is really good. And he also posts some really great stuff on LinkedIn with tips and tricks and those kind of things that you can piece together and learn from as well. So be sure to follow him there and you know, maybe even send both of us a message, just letting us know what did you take from the episode?

What's something that you. Loved to hear about or what do you wanna know more about that? Because we, I know we'd love to hear how you thought of this episode. So, um, otherwise I just wanna hope that we all promise each other to be a little less weird about networking and connecting and just not care like Devin told us.

Don't care what other people think.

Devin: caring. Be a

Tara: Yeah.

Devin: Stop caring.

Tara: Yeah.

Devin: easy.

Tara: It is that easy. And with that, I will let y'all go. We'll catch you next time here on the Balanced Badass Podcast. I'll see you later friend.

Devin: Bye bye.