Setting Goals That Make You Want to Jump Out of Bed

Tara discusses how most people either don't set goals or fail at them because they're uninspiring and based on external expectations. She encourages listeners to toss out these 'should' goals and instead find goals that truly excite them. Tara provides practical steps for identifying what genuinely matters to you, breaking down goals into small actions, and continually reassessing to stay aligned with your true desires. It's all about finding goals that make you jump out of bed in the morning.

Check out the detailed show notes (https://tarakermiet.com/podcast/) and leave your thoughts or questions about today's topic.

00:00 Introduction: The Shocking Truth About Goal Setting

00:11 Why Most Goals Fail

01:15 Finding What Truly Excites You

03:49 Ditching the 'Should' Goals

06:50 Creating Goals That Excite You

12:05 The Power of Small Steps

16:06 Adjusting and Evolving Your Goals

18:20 Redefining Success on Your Terms

20:05 Final Action Step and Conclusion

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction: The Shocking Truth About Goal Setting
• 0:57 Why Most Goals Fail
• 2:01 Finding What Truly Excites You
• 4:35 Ditching the 'Should' Goals
• 7:36 Creating Goals That Excite You
• 12:51 The Power of Small Steps
• 16:52 Adjusting and Evolving Your Goals
• 19:06 Redefining Success on Your Terms
• 20:51 Final Action Step and Conclusion

Transcript

[00:00:00] Welcome to the balance badass podcast, the show for multitaskers determined to stay balanced and badass without losing their minds. Every week we help you manage your overflowing calendar and household. Making sure you still have time to breathe, laugh, and savor that much needed glass of wine at the end of the day.

Think of this podcast as your weekly dose of practical advice, humor, and tough love. Just like catching up with a friend who really gets it. I'm Tara Kermit, your personal growth coach, helping you handle how was your day without a meltdown. Now let's get into today's episode.

Did you know that 80 percent of people never set goals for themselves? And of the 20 percent who do, about 70 percent fail to achieve them. Why? Because most of [00:01:00] these goals are either vague, uninspiring, or they're not really ours to begin with. When was the last time you woke up excited to tackle the day?

I'm not talking about waking up and thinking, well, here we go again. I'm talking about feeling genuinely fired up to leap out of bed like a kid on Christmas morning. If you can't remember the last time that happened, you're definitely not alone. For a lot of people, it's been a hot minute. Maybe your mornings are more about dragging yourself out of bed, grumbling your way to the coffee maker and wishing you could hit snooze on life itself.

Sound familiar? If so, then this episode is for you. And no, this isn't about some new miracle morning routine or a 10 step plan to optimize your life because let's face it, that's just not sustainable for most of us. Who really has time for a 5am ice bath and 2 hours of meditation before work [00:02:00] anyways?

Today, we're stripping it back to basics. We're going to talk about figuring out what actually matters to you. What lights you up. What makes you tick. And then using that to drive everything you do. I'm talking goals that have you practically throwing off the covers in the morning because you're so damn excited to get started.

So if you're ready to ditch the snooze button, stop setting mediocre goals, and start going after the ones that light a fire under your ass, keep on listening. I'm gonna come out and say it. Most goals suck. They just do. And they suck because they're not truly ours. They're not inspiring and they're sure as hell not going to get us excited.

We set them based on what we think we should do. You know the kind I'm talking about. Losing weight because society says we should be thinner. Or getting that promotion because it looks good on paper. [00:03:00] Or saving money because some finance guru said that we should be squirreling away every dime that we have.

But here's the thing. Should based goals are about as exciting as a soggy salad. Ain't nobody jumping out of bed for that. Think about it. You wake up in the morning and your first thought is, Oh, I should go for a run. Or, I should finish that project. Or, I should eat a healthy breakfast. And how does that make you feel?

Probably tired. Probably resentful. Maybe even a little pissed off. Because deep down, you know that none of these things are what you really want to be doing. They're just things you've been conditioned to think you should want to do. And here's where the science comes in and backs me up on this.

Research from the University of Rochester found that when our goals align with our intrinsic values, those deep down core things that genuinely matter to us, we're [00:04:00] more motivated, satisfied, and successful in achieving them. So in other words, goals that matter to us, not society, not our boss, not our one friend who's always humble bragging about their latest achievement.

Now intrinsic values are personal. Unique, and often totally different from what the world tells us we should want. It's like we've all been handed this generic blueprint for life that doesn't take into account who we actually are. It's no wonder we feel stuck, uninspired, and downright frustrated. So here's the first thing I want you to do.

Take a good hard look at your own goals. Are they really yours, or are they someone else's idea of what you should be doing? If it's the latter, it's time to toss them out and start fresh. And I mean it. Toss them out with all the enthusiasm of Marie Kondo chucking a pair of socks that no longer spark joy.[00:05:00] 

Right now, unless you're driving, grab a piece of paper or open up the notes app on your phone. Jot down every single goal you've set for yourself that starts with I should. And I want you to dig deep. Get it all out. Don't hold back. Be honest with yourself. Write down every single I should goal that's been cluttering up your brain.

I should work out more. I should be more organized. I should make more money. I should be more productive on the weekends. Keep going until you've listed every last one. Then cross them off. Literally draw a big fat line through each one of them. They don't belong to you anymore. Feel that? That's freedom, my friend.

It's like you're shedding layers of other people's expectations. It's the freedom of finally giving yourself permission to stop living your life according to someone else's rules. And if you're feeling a little [00:06:00] uncomfortable doing this, that's normal. We're so used to measuring our worth by these external standards that it feels almost wrong to let them go.

But once you start clearing out that clutter, you'll start to see what's actually important to you. I used to be the queen of should goals. Like, seriously, I had a tiara and everything. A few years back, in the midst of what I lovingly call my hot mess era, I had this ridiculously long list of goals. I mean, it was absurd.

Be a better leader. Start a side hustle. Learn Korean. Train for a 10k. I mean, if it was trendy, aspirational, or something I thought I should be doing, you could bet it was on my list. And if I had put all those goals on a spreadsheet, I can promise you Excel would have given me the side eye. And guess what?

I accomplished exactly none of them. Not a damn thing. Why? Because they were goals I [00:07:00] thought I should want. Not goals that actually excited me. I was setting myself up to fail because I was trying to do things that didn't make me feel alive. And that, my friend, is the difference between dragging yourself out of bed and jumping out of it.

See, when we set goals that actually resonate with who we are, they feel different. They feel good. Like finding money in your pocket or realizing your meeting just got canceled and suddenly you have a whole extra hour to yourself. That's the feeling we're aiming for with our goals. Not dread, not obligation, but a sense of freedom, possibility, and joy.

So now I want you to flip that piece of paper over. Forget about what you should be doing. Ask yourself, what would I be doing if I wasn't afraid to fail? These are going to be your, I would freaking love to goals. And don't overthink this. Don't censor yourself either. Think back to when you were a kid, [00:08:00] before all the shoulds took over.

What did you love to do? What did you daydream about? Was it painting? Writing? Building things? Helping others? Whatever it was, write it down. This is the space where the real jump out of bed goals live. And hey, jumping out of bed doesn't have to mean you're out here trying to solve world hunger by 8am.

Just jot down whatever comes to mind. Maybe you'd start a podcast like I'm doing. Maybe you'd travel more. Maybe you'd finally take that painting class. Maybe you'd volunteer at an animal shelter. Maybe you'd start a garden. Don't judge it, just write it. This is your chance to let your true desires come to the surface.

It's about setting goals that are so freaking aligned with who you are and what you value that they practically pull you out of bed in the morning. Then once you have that list, [00:09:00] take a closer look. Which one of these things makes your heartbeat a little faster? Which one gives you that little flutter in your stomach?

That's your starting point. And if nothing on that list makes you feel excited, keep digging. Keep asking yourself what you want until you find something that lights you up. Remember, if it doesn't excite you, it's probably not the right goal. Now let's talk about your why for a second. I know, I know, everyone talks about finding your why.

Thanks Simon Sinek. But it's not some fluffy motivational nonsense. It's actually the core of what drives us. Your why is the fuel in your tank. Without it, you're not going anywhere. Research shows that people who have a strong, emotionally compelling reason behind their goals are more likely to stick with them when things get tough.

And let's face it, life is going to throw some [00:10:00] curveballs your way. If your why is flimsy, your goal will crumble the moment life gets messy. So let's get clear on this. Think about one of the goals on your list. The one that survived the cross off purge. Now, ask yourself, why do I want this? And don't settle for the first answer.

Keep asking why until you hit something that gives you chills or makes you a little emotional. Because that's when you know you've found it. Let me give you an example from my own life. When I was just starting out with my coaching business, the first answer to why do I want this was just because my friends told me I'd be good at it.

That sounds like a should goal, right? So I kept asking why. Eventually, I realized it was because I wanted to be the guide I wished I had when I was struggling with my own feelings of burnout. I've seen firsthand the cost of burnout and the consequences of not [00:11:00] setting boundaries and I know that everyone deserves to feel balanced, to have time for themselves, and to achieve their goals without constant stress or the risk of burnout.

And this why gets me excited. It lights a fire under me. It makes me want to jump out of bed every morning. So I challenge you to dig deeper into your why. Think of it like peeling back the layers of an onion. And yes, it might make you cry, but that's when you know you're getting somewhere real. Write down your goal and keep asking why until you hit on something that makes you feel it in your gut.

That's your motivator. That's what's going to get you moving. And here's another thing to keep in mind. Goals that align with your true self also attract the right kind of energy and opportunities. When you're excited about what you're doing, people notice. They want to be around that energy. [00:12:00] They want to support you, work with you, or even just cheer you on from the sidelines.

So it's not just about finding a goal that makes you want to leap out of bed. It's about finding one that makes other people want to jump on your bandwagon too. That's how powerful this stuff is. Thanks. And I know it can feel scary to think about what you really want. There's fear there, fear of failure, of judgment, fear that you're not good enough or that you'll never achieve it, but you're already feeling stuck, right?

So what do you have to lose by being honest with yourself about what you actually want? You probably have very little to lose and so much to gain. If you let go of the shoulds, you make room for the hell yeah moments. So own those desires. Give them space. Yeah. Let them breathe. Alright, so now you've got a goal that excites you.

But here's the part where most people screw up. They don't break it down. They look [00:13:00] at the end result and think, Oh my god, how am I ever gonna get there? And then they just don't. They stay stuck in the planning phase, which is basically just procrastination. They make it this huge, overwhelming mountain to climb, and then they wonder why they're still stuck at base camp.

The trick is to get that big, exciting goal and break it down into the tiniest, bite sized steps you can think of. I'm talking teeny tiny. What action can you take right now? Not tomorrow, not next week. Like, today. If your goal is to get fit, maybe that means going for a 10 minute walk right after this episode.

If your goal is to start a side hustle, maybe Maybe it means brainstorming three business ideas in the next half hour. Just pick something and do it. We're talking baby steps here, friend. Why? Because every tiny action you take is a win that builds momentum, and momentum is the secret to [00:14:00] achieving any goal.

And I'm not just making this up. There's science behind it. Researchers from Harvard Business School found that taking small steps toward a goal and celebrating those small wins actually builds momentum and keeps you motivated. So, right after this episode, I want you to take one tiny action toward your goal.

Whatever it is, make it so small you can't say no. Because here's the thing, once you get moving, it's easier to keep moving. It's Newton's first law, right? An object in motion stays in motion. You are that object. Get moving. And when you've done that one thing, celebrate it. Seriously, celebrate it like you just won a gold medal.

Text a friend, do a happy dance, or just smile to yourself and say, Hell yeah, I just did that. Acknowledging those small wins keeps the momentum and keeps the motivation train rolling. And let's keep talking about momentum for a second [00:15:00] because it is a powerful thing. The more you move, the easier it is to keep moving.

In every little action, every tiny win builds that momentum. And before you know it, you're cruising toward what you want. Remember, you're not trying to change your life overnight. You're trying to build a life that makes you feel excited and alive, one small step at a time. That's how you create something sustainable, something that grows with you, evolves with you, and supports you every single day.

Think about it this way. If you took just one small action toward your goal every day, that's 365 actions in a year. Imagine what kind of progress you could make with 365 actions, even if they're tiny. That's a hell of a lot of progress, right? You could be miles ahead of where you are right now, and it wouldn't feel like you'd done anything dramatic or exhausting.[00:16:00] 

So stop thinking about the end result. Stop stressing over how far away it might feel or how big that mountain looks from where you're standing right now. Instead, focus on the next step, the next tiny thing you can do today, to get just a little closer to where you want to be. And here's the best part.

Momentum creates confidence. Every step you take, every bit of progress you make, Builds your belief in yourself. It's like a snowball rolling down a hill, gathering speed and size with every turn. We talked about this in last week's episode. The more you do, the more you realize you can do. The more you accomplish, the more you realize how capable you are.

You start to trust yourself. You start to see that you're stronger, braver, and more determined than you ever gave yourself credit for. But let's be honest. Life happens and things change. You're not the same person you were a year ago or even [00:17:00] a month ago. So, it makes sense that your goals might change too.

If you find that what used to make you jump out of bed is now making you roll your eyes or feel a pit in your stomach, that's a sign. It's a signal from your inner self saying that maybe this isn't the right path anymore. Give yourself permission to recalibrate, to pivot, to tweak, to completely scrap one goal and start another if that's what feels right.

The key is to keep checking in with yourself. Are you still excited? Are you still feeling that spark? If not, Maybe it's time for a new direction. Don't be afraid to adjust your goals as you go. Maybe your goal was to write a book, but now you're more interested in starting a blog. Or maybe you wanted to train for a marathon, but now you're finding more joy in yoga or a tap class.

That's not failure. That's you evolving. That's you being honest about where you are right [00:18:00] now and what is lighting you up in this season. The point is to stay aligned with what excites you, what drives you, what makes you feel alive. Because we all know that life is too short to chase goals that no longer resonate.

So set aside some time this week to reflect on your goals. Are they still exciting? Are they still aligned with who you are and where you want to go? Do they still light that fire in your belly? Or do they feel like a chore, a should, something you're dragging yourself through just to check a box? If they're not lighting you up anymore, it's time to adjust.

Remember, your goals should be flexible, just like you. Don't cling to something just because you've already started down that path. Don't let the sunk cost fallacy trap you into thinking you have to finish something just because you've invested time or money or effort into it. It's okay to change course.

It's okay to [00:19:00] start over. It's okay to say that something isn't for you anymore and find something new that sets your soul on fire. Redefine what success looks like for you. Maybe success isn't completing that marathon you once dreamed about. Maybe it's about finding a fitness routine that makes you happy and just keeps you moving.

Or maybe success isn't launching a business empire, but starting a side project that just allows you to be creative. Success is personal. It's about what makes you feel proud, accomplished, and content. It's about what makes your heart sing. So give yourself the grace and the freedom to redefine it as often as you need to.

Allow yourself to pivot without judgment, without guilt, without feeling like you've failed. Growth isn't linear. It's messy, it's unpredictable, and it's often downright uncomfortable. But it's also beautiful. It's you becoming more [00:20:00] in tune with yourself, more aligned with your values, more aware of what makes you feel truly alive.

Sometimes the greatest act of self care is letting go of something that no longer serves you and embracing the unknown, the new, the exciting. Trust that you have the wisdom and the strength to navigate that path, whatever it may look like. Because at the end of the day, the only person who gets to decide what success looks like is you.

Your goals are yours. Not your mom's, not your partner's, not your boss's, not Instagram's. They're yours. So own them. Make them bold. Make them big. Make them something that makes you want to jump out of bed every damn day. Alright, so here's your final action step for today. I want you to take that goal you've been thinking about [00:21:00] and tell someone about it.

Say it out loud, share it with a friend, post it online, whatever feels good. But make it real by putting it out there. When you do that, you're not just committing to yourself, you're making it a reality. Okay, that's all for today my badass friend. Don't forget to leave a review and share this episode with someone who needs a little push to go after what they truly want.

And as always, keep it balanced, keep it badass, and I'll see you next week. 

Thanks for hanging out with me on the Balance Badass podcast. I hope today's episode brought you a little more balance and a lot more badass in your day. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review. Your support helps more multitaskers like you find the show, and I'd really appreciate it.

Until next time, take care of yourself and make good choices, friend. [00:22:00] I'll catch you next week.